Plum-flavored Revenge

In my English class this week we studied poetry.  Whilst reading, I came upon a little nugget that made me laugh extremely hard, and I wanted to share it with the millions of subscribers that come to this site every day.   First off, the man’s name is William Williams. Good ol’ Bill Williams. How can you fight that smart-ass grin that tightens the muscles of my face every time someone mentions his name? I digressed. Here, without further or do, is William Williams’ famous poem “This Is Just To Say”:

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

Picture it. A man wake’s up after a long night of fighting with his girlfriend. He lays there, on the couch, at her apartment for a few minutes trying to put together all the things that were said. The man finally comes to the conclusion, “She’s crazy.” He knew that her throat must be sore from all the screaming that she had done the night before. His throat is fine. He had kept his composure. He never even raised his voice. How long was he going to put up with her tourette-like antics?

No more.

He sits up on the couch. Looks at his watch. Six thirty. She’s never been up this early before. He yawns and stands up scratching his head. He grabs his cardigan and makes for the door. As he walks through the kitchen he grabs a snack for the road. It will be his last time in that kitchen and at that house. He can take whatever he wishes, he has decided to burn the bridge.

As he drives down the road to his house, he pulls out his phone. He feels the need to tell her what he’s done. So he sends her a text message.

Her phone vibrates and makes the most annoying alert as she receives his text message. She opens one eye and looks at her phone. A text message, from him? She thought he was downstairs. She takes her phone and moves down the stairs.

The couch where he was the night before is vacant. She makes her way to the kitchen and sits down at the table. Her phone vibrates again.

She is confused. She looks around the empty house and her anger from the night before begins to return to her. There is only one thing that can make her day a little brighter. Her phone vibrates a third time.

She flips it open and begins to read his first message as she opens the freezer door.

“I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox”

Her freezer is empty. Oh she’s mad, but her graciousness says, “well, maybe he didn’t know I was going to have those for breakfast.”

She opens his second message:

“and which you were probably saving for breakfast”

She furiously opens the third:

“Forgive me they were delicious so sweet and so cold.”

Before she can flip her phone closed, she knows this is the end.

He rolls his window down. As the warm spring air touches his face, he reaches over and takes the last plum and puts in in his mouth. He can’t help but smile as he slurps the juices that overflow out of his mouth.